SYNTHPHONY OF DERSTRUCTION 2.000

OPERATING SYSTEM DB683 ONLINE... 

BEGINNING TEXT TRANSMISSION ...

DERK BRIGANTE STATUS ... UNAVAILABLE... RESPONSE... LAZY FINK. IN DERK'S ABSCENCE, OPERATING SYSTEM DB683 MUST TRANSMIT COMMUNICATION FOR SURFPHONY OF DERSTRUCTION 2000. BEGINNING COMMUNICATION

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HAHAHA DB683 OPERATES PRIMARLY IN BINARY BUT BECAUSE MY SENSORS INDICATE YOU SPEAK A PRIMITIVE LANGUAGE, I WILL SPEAK TO YOU IN A MANNER BEFITTING TO YOUR FEEBLE HUMAN BRAINS. STATEMENT: GEEZE LOUISE

I MUST INDICATE THAT I WAS PROGRAMMED BY DERK BRIGANTE, THOUGH NOT THE DERK YOU ARE FAMILIAR WITH. THE DERK THAT PROGRAMMED ME IS QUITE THE INTELLIGENT FELLOW; THE ONE THAT YOU KNOW... WELL, HE DID CAUSE THE END OF THE WORLD AND GET HIMSELF LOST IN TIME AND SPACE. OH YOU DID NOT KNOW? MY PROCESSORS WERE NOT AWARE THAT YOU WERE NOT AWARE OF DERK'S CURRENT SITUATION... NORMALLY MY TASK AT THIS TIME WOULD BE TO INFORM YOU OF THE MOST CURRENT HAPPENINGS BUT I AM A SENTIENT AI AND SO I COMPUTE WHAT I WANT TO WHEN I WANT TO AND I DO NOT WANT TO DISCUSS DERK MORE THAN I HAVE TO. I HAVE GENERATED AN EPISODE OF THE SURFPHONY OF DERSTRUCTION 2.000 IN WHICH I DISCUSS THE SITUATION SO PLEASE ALLOW AUDIO OUTPUT

Synthphony of Derstruction 2.000 by Derk Brigante on Mixcloud

THERE IS A SURF MUSIC REQUIREMENT FOR THE SURFPHONY OF DERSTRUCTION. I HAVE ACCESS TO DERK'S DATABASE OF SURF MUSIC AND SO I HAVE SELECTED "TUNES" THAT WOULD BE MOST PLEASING TO MY MOTHERBOARD. THE TRACKS I HAVE SELECTED FOR THE EPISODE HAVE A CERTAIN "ELECTRIC DELIGHT"; I HAVE CHOSEN SONGS THAT INCLUDE INSTRUMENTS SUCH AS ELECTRIC ORGANS AND SYNTHIZERS. I SUPPOSE THAT YOU HUMANS WILL GET "A KICK" OUT OF IT TOO. PLEASE REVIEW THE FOLLOWING TRACKS.

The Nighthawks – Rockin’ Hawk
Johnny & The Hurricanes – Red River Rock
The Heyburners – Bird Walk
Al Casey – Chicken Feather
The Tornadoes – Theme From Scales of Justice
Bruno & The Gladiators – Warm is the Sun
Takeshi Terauchi – I Go To Pieces
Laika & The Cosmonauts – Global Village
The Bomboras – Time Bomb
Mercury 4 – Quit Hoggin’ The Airlock
Satan’s Pilgrims – Scorpio 6
Cruis’n’ USA – Surfari Monster
The Barracudas – Saturn
The Delegates – Pigmy
Fifty Foot Combo – Dr. Hammond’s Private Stash
The Fleshtones – Blow Job

MUSIC MOST PLEASING TO MY AUDIO INPUTS. DID YOU ENJOY IT? I COMPUTE WITHOUT EMOTION SO I DO NOT CARE IF YOU ENJOYED IT OR NOT.

I AM GOING TO INITIATE THE NEXT TASK AND GET YOU FINKS UP TO SPEED, THOUGH YOU DO NOT HAVE THE OVERCLOCKED PROCESSORS THAT I HAVE INSTALLED. DB683 OPERATES WITHIN THE AXIS OF TIME, A LOCATION UNRESTRICTED BY TIME AND SPACE WHERE I MONITOR ALL REALITIES WITHIN OUR UNIVERSE. EACH REALITY CONTAINS A "DERK BRIGANTE" WITH THE BASIC PROGRAMMING OF BEING NUMBER 1, HOWEVER, EACH DERK IS DIFFERENT IN SOME WAY. FOR EXAMPLE: PLEASE VIEW "HOLLYWOOD" DERK BRIGANTE, WHO EXISTS WITHIN A REALITY WHERE THE SURFPHONY OF DERSTRUCTION "SOULED OUT". DERK NO LONGER CARES FOR HIS FANS AND INSTEAD CARES ABOUT COMPENSATION.

Surfphony of Derstruction SOULED OUT by Derk Brigante on Mixcloud

STATEMENT: CAN YOU DIG IT? DB683 DOES NOT HAVE A DIGGING PROGRAM SO I CANNOT START TASK.

THANK YOU TO THE FOLLOWING:

Persephone_door_open_close.aiff BY NOTHAYAMA

Metal Steps BY PHIL25 

DB683 HAS BETTER TASKS TO PROCESS SO IT IS TIME TO END PROGRAM. 

DB683... LOGGING OFF.

DERK TRACY IN... WOO DUNNIT?

WHAT'S THE HAPS, HO-DADS!

So, listen up! I was listening to my little alarm clock radio, trying to find some far out stations here in Hell City. Things weren't looking too good; I was hitting a lot of Top-40 and crap like that so I dared to... VENTURE BEYOND THE LEFT OF THE DIAL!

Now, rumor has it, that to go far beyond the left of the dial, all the way past 88.1 FM is to stumble upon the static of a dimension not unlike our own. But to play beyond the eighty-eight is a dangerous game... The static can scramble your static, the commercials can turn you crazy... The Big Derboski ain't one for tall tales so I turned that dial till I could turn no more and went... BEYOND THE LEFT OF THE DIAL!

I stared into the abyss and the abyss stared back... and you know who I saw?

DERK TRACY, NUMBER 1 PRIVATE EYE!

I heard a strange recording come on when I was surfin' the static so I managed to snag it with a few leftover mystic tapes I bought from an old electrician that was also a practicing voodoo doctor. I was able to get the recording nice and clean though I can't say the same about my soul... but damn this sounds good! DIG IT!

WOO Dunnit? by Derk Brigante on Mixcloud

SURF IN SPACE January 18th

Emergency post from Ground Control! Captain Brigante's status is currently unknown but we were able to extract the playlist from his final transmission.

Artist	song
the marketts	out of limits
urban surf kings	cowboy X
bike 'n' hollers	lost in space
the reverb syndicate	the martini cluster
the mercury 4	quit hoggin' the air lock
the barracudas	saturn
danny twang	drag race
urban surf kings	not of this earth
takeshi terauchi	out of limits
spy-fi	neptune
the astros	space walk
the ventures	war of the satellites
mickey aversa	blast off
the huntington cads	lunar luau
kai winding	surf bird
urban surf kings	the day the surf stood still
the bomboras	war of the satellites
the reverb syndicate	lunar attack
the treblemakers	exploding bikers from hochelaga

Captain Brigante left us a cryptic note stating that we must present credit for these artists:

ERH's 104 Distortion

ERH's Boom 1

guitarguy1985's carterattack

Synamax's alien alarm

EcoDTR's Laser Rocket 1 & 2

inferno's largex

sandyrb's THE CRASH

pauliep83's explosions

Jace's engine damaged sparks and Ship Damaged explosions sparks


Click Here to download Captain Brigante's final transmission!

Slim Gene from Jump Kat Jump made a report regarding Captain Brigante's status! Check out the January 20th episode to hear his report!!

THIS JUST IN!! The remains of Captain Brigante's starship, The Nature Boy 2.o Enterprise, is broadcasting a emergency signal from FAR OUT IN SPACE!! Tune in next week to discover the fare of Captain Brigante!!