Tuesday, April 15, 2014

SYNTHPHONY OF DERSTRUCTION 2.000

OPERATING SYSTEM DB683 ONLINE... 
BEGINNING TEXT TRANSMISSION ...

DERK BRIGANTE STATUS ... UNAVAILABLE... RESPONSE... LAZY FINK. IN DERK'S ABSCENCE, OPERATING SYSTEM DB683 MUST TRANSMIT COMMUNICATION FOR SURFPHONY OF DERSTRUCTION 2000. BEGINNING COMMUNICATION


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HAHAHA DB683 OPERATES PRIMARLY IN BINARY BUT BECAUSE MY SENSORS INDICATE YOU SPEAK A PRIMITIVE LANGUAGE, I WILL SPEAK TO YOU IN A MANNER BEFITTING TO YOUR FEEBLE HUMAN BRAINS. STATEMENT: GEEZE LOUISE

I MUST INDICATE THAT I WAS PROGRAMMED BY DERK BRIGANTE, THOUGH NOT THE DERK YOU ARE FAMILIAR WITH. THE DERK THAT PROGRAMMED ME IS QUITE THE INTELLIGENT FELLOW; THE ONE THAT YOU KNOW... WELL, HE DID CAUSE THE END OF THE WORLD AND GET HIMSELF LOST IN TIME AND SPACE. OH YOU DID NOT KNOW? MY PROCESSORS WERE NOT AWARE THAT YOU WERE NOT AWARE OF DERK'S CURRENT SITUATION... NORMALLY MY TASK AT THIS TIME WOULD BE TO INFORM YOU OF THE MOST CURRENT HAPPENINGS BUT I AM A SENTIENT AI AND SO I COMPUTE WHAT I WANT TO WHEN I WANT TO AND I DO NOT WANT TO DISCUSS DERK MORE THAN I HAVE TO. I HAVE GENERATED AN EPISODE OF THE SURFPHONY OF DERSTRUCTION 2.000 IN WHICH I DISCUSS THE SITUATION SO PLEASE ALLOW AUDIO OUTPUT



THERE IS A SURF MUSIC REQUIREMENT FOR THE SURFPHONY OF DERSTRUCTION. I HAVE ACCESS TO DERK'S DATABASE OF SURF MUSIC AND SO I HAVE SELECTED "TUNES" THAT WOULD BE MOST PLEASING TO MY MOTHERBOARD. THE TRACKS I HAVE SELECTED FOR THE EPISODE HAVE A CERTAIN "ELECTRIC DELIGHT"; I HAVE CHOSEN SONGS THAT INCLUDE INSTRUMENTS SUCH AS ELECTRIC ORGANS AND SYNTHIZERS. I SUPPOSE THAT YOU HUMANS WILL GET "A KICK" OUT OF IT TOO. PLEASE REVIEW THE FOLLOWING TRACKS.

The Nighthawks – Rockin’ Hawk
Johnny & The Hurricanes – Red River Rock
The Heyburners – Bird Walk
Al Casey – Chicken Feather
The Tornadoes – Theme From Scales of Justice
Bruno & The Gladiators – Warm is the Sun
Takeshi Terauchi – I Go To Pieces
Laika & The Cosmonauts – Global Village
The Bomboras – Time Bomb
Mercury 4 – Quit Hoggin’ The Airlock
Satan’s Pilgrims – Scorpio 6
Cruis’n’ USA – Surfari Monster
The Barracudas – Saturn
The Delegates – Pigmy
Fifty Foot Combo – Dr. Hammond’s Private Stash
The Fleshtones – Blow Job


MUSIC MOST PLEASING TO MY AUDIO INPUTS. DID YOU ENJOY IT? I COMPUTE WITHOUT EMOTION SO I DO NOT CARE IF YOU ENJOYED IT OR NOT.

I AM GOING TO INITIATE THE NEXT TASK AND GET YOU FINKS UP TO SPEED, THOUGH YOU DO NOT HAVE THE OVERCLOCKED PROCESSORS THAT I HAVE INSTALLED. DB683 OPERATES WITHIN THE AXIS OF TIME, A LOCATION UNRESTRICTED BY TIME AND SPACE WHERE I MONITOR ALL REALITIES WITHIN OUR UNIVERSE. EACH REALITY CONTAINS A "DERK BRIGANTE" WITH THE BASIC PROGRAMMING OF BEING NUMBER 1, HOWEVER, EACH DERK IS DIFFERENT IN SOME WAY. FOR EXAMPLE: PLEASE VIEW "HOLLYWOOD" DERK BRIGANTE, WHO EXISTS WITHIN A REALITY WHERE THE SURFPHONY OF DERSTRUCTION "SOULED OUT". DERK NO LONGER CARES FOR HIS FANS AND INSTEAD CARES ABOUT COMPENSATION.




STATEMENT: CAN YOU DIG IT? DB683 DOES NOT HAVE A DIGGING PROGRAM SO I CANNOT START TASK.

THANK YOU TO THE FOLLOWING:

Persephone_door_open_close.aiff BY NOTHAYAMA

Metal Steps BY PHIL25 

DB683 HAS BETTER TASKS TO PROCESS SO IT IS TIME TO END PROGRAM. 

DB683... LOGGING OFF.

Sunday, March 16, 2014

The Surfphony of Derstruction Souled Out

YO FINKS it seems a little education is in store so LISTEN UP! It's about time that the Surfphony of Derstruction is SOULED OUT! No more mister nice guy, it's time for the Big Derboski to go Hollywood! Now it's time for a new world order... It's time for the Surfphony of Derstruction...
It feels good to get paid for what I do when I do oh so well! For you finks who aren't familiar with the SoD or The Big Derboski, what I do is bring Surf from around the Earth and I'm the best at what I do! That's why I'm NUMBER ONE and the rest of yas... well, yer just scraping the bottom of the barrel! We're takin' over and there's nothing that you dumbos can do about it! 


Can ya dig it? I don't really care if you do or not so just sit down, SHUT UP... and listen to the Surfphony of Derstruction SOULED OUT! It's best thing you'll hear all week HELL all month with amount of excitement you finks get by just planting yer keisters on the chesterfield! GEEZE



Hollywood is a sunny place for shady people and that's just the way The Big Derboski likes it! I'm just being all sleazy and greazy out here in Beverly Hills and I fit in juuuuuust right, dig? Because I am the best, I gotta make sure that I bring the best with me! It ain't hard to do when yer me though and I did a bang-up job of getting some real sleazy surf and planting right there in yer ears. You finks better be thankful for the quality of tunes I got for ya this time around!

Friday, February 14, 2014

The Surfphony of Derstruction 2000 AD PART 2

Boy oh boy, it's been one helluva time here in the nuclear apocalypse. Things have been pretty rough for the Big Derboski but, ya know what, I don't mind too much! Last time the Big Surf came in with the high tide, I picked up on a rumor that there is an arcade on the west coast called Bumper City (hmmmm, that name sounds familiar) that has a time machine. With that news, I set out to the Satanic Mechanic, Dave L. to get me a set of wheels. Dave had a lean and clean cadillac waiting for me...
the one on the left for you finks that don't know yer caddies

It's an approximation of my caddy, looked more like this though...
With The Big Derboski behind the wheel and the devil in my car, I hit the ol' dusty trail on a transcontinental trip from Hell City on the east coast all the way down to Bumper City on the west coast! It's been one long, strange haul but I had some music to keep me going. Howzabout you take a listen to my lil "trip report" on the latest episode of The Surfphony of Derstruction 2000... AFTER DERK

Car chases, explosions, pinball tables, time machines WHAAAAAAAAAAAT A RUSH!!! I mean... WHAT AN EPISODE!! So much packed into the Big Surf this time around, I hope you can hang ten with the Big Derboski! There was music too...

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

The Surfphony of Derstruction Presents: Lost at Sea

YO FINKS IT IS MY BROTHER'S BIRTHDAY TODAY!!! THAT'S PRETTY COOL! This is my lil BRO SHANE JACKSON BIONDI CAN YOU DIG IT???
THAT'S RIGHT THE BIG DERBOSKI IS A BIG BROTHER AND IF YA MESS WITH HIM... YA MESS WITH US!
KNUCKLEHEDZ ... WE RECYCLE!
Are ya wondering what we're sittin' in? It's Shane's '40 GMC HOT ROD
BAD ASS!!

OK WHAT THE HECK AM I DOIN' HERE?? Well, as a small b-day present to him and TO YOU FINKS I GUESS, here's a lil something I cooked up...



Now, if The Big Derboski can be serious for a moment as this particular podcast doesn't really call for all the stylin' and profilin' necessary for a regular ol' episode of The Surfphony of Derstruction 2000. Yeah, this lil podcast is considered... off the record, in a way. I compiled a bunch of songs that have a real deserted island sound combined with crashing waves and the sounds of the surf... not only surf music but the sorta stuff ya hear by the ocean. Real calming stuff. So, if yer looking to chill and reminisce about the warm weather or you need some music to watch girls by on the beach then Lost at Sea is right up yer alley. I don't do any talking, just lots of surf, real nice! So just turn on, tune in and mellow out when you're... Lost at Sea.

Thursday, January 16, 2014

SURFPHONY OF DERSTRUCTION 2000... AFTER DERK

UH OH!!! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD, BABY!



DAG YO! The Big Derboski is out here wilin' in the nuclear apocalypse! How did I get down here? Well, it's a long story and I feel like regalin' this old tale so grab a seat, fink, cause it's time for a tall tale, ya dig?

OK so back in October during Count Von Derkula's nightmare mash on the Surfphony of Derstruction B000, I crashed the party to have a good time with all the ghouls 'n' ghosts. Never one to turn down a brew, I accepted a drink from Mr. Mephistopheles, SATAN HIMSELF. My judgment was a bit clouded from the bloody marys that Count Von Derkula was servin' up OK? So I downed the drink and, lemme tell you, I had one helluva hangover. Not only that but SATAN cursed the drink in order to open the gates of hell on Earth, using me as the vessel. This was documented on Episode 11 of the Surfphony of Derstruction but a little exorcising took care of that problem. That though was only one small part of the big picture though... The damage was already done even though I gave the ghouls a good ol' heave-ho and the dawn of the earth's destruction came to bear. I was not quite live but still alive on Episode 12 of the Big Surf to give you a low down on what was going down! All hell broke loose in Hell City and, as a professional, the Big Derboski sought to bring Surf to you finks despite the apocalypse... and here we are now!


The Big Derboski is back in the new year, THE YEAR 20XX to bring you more Surf from around the Earth, although the Earth is not what it once was... Oh no, it's now the NUCLEAR APOCALYPSE OH MAN!

Despite the nuclear winter that much of the world has been thrown into, I'm doin OK... good enough to bring you more surf on this full moon WOOOO!!!

Wednesday, December 25, 2013

The Surfphony of Derstruction 2000: The Lost Tapes

MERRY CHRISTMAS YA FINKS! OR ... Happy Holidays, whatever floats yer boat. Frankly, I DON'T CARE I'm only here to spread some holiday cheer with some VINTAGE Surfphony of Derstruction 2000! And I'm not just talking about old episodes from my times on CJAM 99.1 FM! NO, I got something reaaaaal special for ya... This is the Surfphony of Derstruction 2000: THE LOST TAPES!


PLAYLIST

Mr Gasser and The Weirdos - Well, I'm Goin'
Surfmen - Paradise Cove
The Revels - Commanche
Les Brown - Surfin' and Swinging
The Emperors - The Breeze and I
Takeshi Terauchi - Ghostriders in The Sky
The New Dimensions - Phantom Skier
The Pyramids - Pressure
The Vibrants - Wild Fire
Huevos Rancheros - Secret Recipe
Eddie and The Showmen - Scratch
Mark Brodie and The Beaver Patrol - Jezebel
The Tornadoes - The Tornado
Los Straitjackets - Hornet's Nest
Von Drats - So Long Stinktown
Jon and The Nightriders - Depth Charge
The Reverb Syndicate - Last Train to Death Valley Junction
Tijuana Bibles - custom Made Man
The Crusaders - One Eyed Bikini Monster
The Trashwomen - Aphrodesia
The Heatscore - Sunset Flip

This episode comes from back in 2011 after I had left CJAM. A couple of months after I graduated and left the Windsor, I took a shot at putting together a new Surfphony podcast that could also be played on CJAM weekly. My plan was to get a couple of episodes complete then send them over to CJAM and continue making episodes. It didn't come to fruition as it turned out making 1 hour podcasts once a week was pretty tough. Now, the Big Derboski is going to confide in ya so I hope I can trust ya... Haha, it's all good! OK, to be blunt, I wasn't quite happy with these episodes and just didn't feel like they really lived up to my expectations. I haven't touched them since I made them but they're cool to listen to and see where a few ideas came from and to look at the evolution between live on CJAM 99.1 FM and not quite live but still alive here on the Surfphony of Derstruction 2000!

THAT'S MY LITTLE PRESENT TO YA! T'IS THE SEASON FOR SURFIN' YA DIG?!

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

SURFPHONY OF DERSTRUCTION 2000 - EPISODE 12

THERE'S A FULL MOON OUT IN THE SKY TONIGHT WOOOOO!! YES THE SURFPHONY OF DERSTRUCTION IS HERE! THE TIDE IS HIGH AND THE BIG DERBOSKI HAS COME ASHORE! one problem though... IT'S THE END OF THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD!!!


DAAAAAAANG! NOT QUITE LIVE BUT STILL ALIVE, I'M BRINGING THE LAST EPISODE OF THE MONTH AND MAYBE... FOREVER?? JUDGMENT DAY IS NIGH but that doesn't mean the Surfphony is gonna stop coming to ya every single full moon!


PLAYLIST OK

The Astronauts - Firewater
The Nobles - Hiawartha
The Surfaris - Storm Surf
Long Boards - Tour De France
The Swanks - Ghost Train
Emanons - Stomper
The Pyramids - Contact (ya know, i'm not really sure if this is right...)
The Bel-Airs - Three Blind Mice Make it to Santa's Village
Eddie & The Showmen - Far Away Places
The Ventures - Diamondhead
Takeshi Terauchi - Guitar in Tears
New Dimensions - Phantom Skiier
Nation Rockin' Shadows - Anesthesia

ONE HELLUVA PLAYLIST FOR THE END OF THE WORLD if i do say so myself... ALRIGHT I FEEL LIKE.. talkin' about The Ventures' Diamond Head!


woooo I gotta say, Diamond Head has to be one of my favorite surf songs. If you were to ask me "DERK what is YOUR quintessential surf song?!" I would say Diamond Head. I'm not too keen on my music terminology but the riff is too wild and has a really chilly vibe what with all the REVERB WOOOOOOO!

Where does the name Diamond Head come from? It is the name of a volcano on the Hawaiian island of O'ahu! The name was given to the mighty volcano by 19th British Sailors who thought the calcite crystals were diamonds.

Diamond Head is also the name of a sweet HEAVY METAL band!


The Ventures got wicked big in Japan back in the early 1960's. They even inspired the teenagers of Japan to form their own surf bands. The Surf genre went by another name, that being Eleki Boom. Two of Japan's biggest Eleki Boom artists were Yuzo Kayama and Takeshi Terauchi. I brought some Yuzo Kayama trax to the Big Surf last month and you should def take a listen. I played some Takeshi on this show but ya know what, I play Takeshi Terauchi a lot haha... He has to be one of my favorite surf guitarists. He plays a real fast style ala Dick Dale and makes hella use of his whammy bar but also plays real clean riffs like the Ventures. SO HOW ABOUT THIS HOW ABOUT Yuzo Kayama... AND Takeshi Terauchi!! NO WAY



UH YEAH WAY!!! If ya feel like reading a bit more about the Eleki Boom era, dig this article on The Video Beat!

HEY YO I gotta tell you about a show coming up in the Toronto area ya dig?  The King Beez are hosting a tribute show to LOU REED! Lotsa bands and musicians are getting together to pay tribute to the man on SATURDAY DECEMBER 21ST THAT'S NICE!


Make yer way over to The Sister at 1554 Queen St West if yer feelin' like it... and you should feel like it, ya bum! it's gonna be a real show show, DIG?


 I'm hoping that someone plays this real kool lou reed track haha

AND AS ALWAYS you can find ALL of the Surfphony episodes of old uploaded on Mixcloud for REAL-TIME STREAMING WHOOOOOOA

Follow Derk Brigante on Mixcloud